OnTheMindsOfWomen

In the ever changing world of boy meets girl some things never change. Dating still has some women asking emotional questions such as:

“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get a date, or better yet get a second date? I’ve got it going on. I got a decent if not great job, my own place, car, and can provide for myself.”

Still a void remains for so many when it comes to companionship. While each situation has similarities there are always differences so no one answer addresses the issue. But perhaps pondering the following thoughts of both men and women on this subject might give us a closer look into this problem.

Women are saying:

Situation 1
Often a woman’s attitude can be a turn off. Some women appear unapproachable; whether consciously or unconsciously. A woman who appears that she thinks she’s “all that” sends out vibes that neither women nor men want to deal with.

Possible Solution:
A serious mind sometimes mirrors an aloft (stand-off) appearance during a social event. If you’re a single “busy bee” out at a social environment perhaps loosening up a bit and letting the office stay at home will allow your mind not to roam but zoom in on some possible prospects. Always wear a smile and nod back with wink strokes you from across the room.

Situation 2
Some women always find something wrong with any man that approaches her. She looks him up and down and dismisses him. Or she finds some reason never to call him or allow him some time.

Possible Solution

Every woman should have priorities and a list of things she desires in a mate. But like every woman, no man is perfect. If a woman continues to live like no man is good enough unless he has A through Z changes are no one will ever be good enough. Perhaps your check list needs to be re-checked.

Situation 3

There are woman who refuse to let a man get too close to them. They feel “Never let your right hand know what your left hand is doing.” An invisible wall is always present.

Possible Solution

It is wise to “take your time” getting to know someone. But if you are interested in someone it’s best to let them know it; after all a mature woman knows when someone is interested. Blocking intimacy is not only a turn off after a while but a possible block from someone who might be right for you. If it makes you more comfortable, ask them a few important questions first; if they’re forthcoming then you should be as well. Continuing the ploy that it’s best to hide your intentions might just keep you home alone more than you’d like.

Situation 4

After some women are hurt they’re scared to be hurt again. So they make things happen; drama, excuses etc, to interrupt the relationship before their partner does, after a while no ones calling.

Possible Solution

Drama is an ugly outfit that comes with its own perfume; most of the time a mature man can spot drama or smell it as soon as he meets it. Drama screams silently in your speech and attitude. Drop the “airs” and the games and enjoy playing fair for a change. You just might be a hand away from winning.

Situation 5

Some women unconsciously haven’t let go of a past unfulfilling love affair.

Possible Solution

Comparing a new prospect to an old lover is bad news. No one wants to be in competition with an ex.; constantly bringing him up during a first date most of the times forfeits a possible second. If you are still pining for an old love get over him before you drag that baggage with you and deflate a relationship before it gets to bloom.

Some men comment that:

“A woman doesn’t stand a chance for a date or second date if she:”

1. Has a foul mouth, even if she’s attractive
2. Disrespects her man out in public
3. Is loud and obnoxious
4. Overly forward
5. Un-kept – doesn’t keep her appearance up or take care of he health
6. Is a smoker, a heavy drinker or does drugs
7. Has a boring personality
8. Displays bad hygiene

* Also, someone who comes off too religious, overly opinionated, and too eager to discuss marriage, and having babies; especially on a first date can literally be left with the check.

* And if you’re of lover of words or in love with your own voice, tone it down during a date and let him get a word in.

* If you’re proud of your accomplishments, maybe telling some of what you’ve been blessed with is better than overwhelming him with all your awards and accolades since high school. If anything inquire about him. Men love to talk about themselves and the woman that shows interest in him is interesting to him.

* If you’re stressing about a few things, save the psych session for your girlfriends. He might listen intently but not knowing you yet hear the words instead of a psycho.

* Dress to impress but leave something for his imagination unless you’re just looking for a booty call. If he thinks you look like a slut and he’s secretly looking for his future wife…guess what? You’re not walking down his isle.

* And ladies it’s really not cute trying to order the most expensive thing on the menu, even if he could afford it. If you eat like a gold- digging apostle it could be your last supper with the lover who could have had you calling for Jesus.

With all that’s been said it should also be noted that some women are just shy and don’t know how to become approachable to the opposite sex. The lack of eye contact or body language can be misleading. If that’s the case get some tips from a friend, male or female. Ask about your assets and how to showcase them. Simply things go a long way.

And most of all just being yourself attracts the person that’s meant to share your time.

Also, take time some and visualize what would be a “great date” in your mind. Visualize the woman and how she looks, speaks, and acts.

Sometimes a little private role-playing can lead to some private fore-playing.

Happy dating girls!!!!!